Friends

Everyone wants to be my friend. I like making friends, and lots of friends is sure better than none, but it can get overwhelming. With people here, especially the younger ones, making friends follows a bit of a different track than I'm used to. When I make a new friend back home, it's generally done without the word 'friend' being mentioned at all. We talk about things we have in common, maybe joke around...you know, get to know each other. It's a casual affair. Here, people are serious about being MY friend, and they need to do it quick before I disappear around the corner.

It's not their fault. I'm probably the first foreigner they've spoken with, and they need to move fast to capitalize on the opportunity. I truly respect their initiative. It takes a lot of guts to approach a stranger, much less a foreign stranger, strike up a conversation and seal the deal by asking for a phone number. Now that I think of it, these high schoolers would be really good at getting numbers in bars if they chose to apply themselves in that way. The problem is, I am only one person and as such it is physically impossible for me be good friends with everyone I bump into on the street. I stopped giving my cell number to people who I talk with for less than five minutes quite a while ago. However, I'm not a mean person and I will give one of my email addresses to pretty much anyone who asks.

Last blog, I wrote about tree planting day. That was last Sunday. On the bus back, a few high schoolers were sitting nearby and started talking with me. Below are two of the emails I got within a day of the planting.


hello!~ Andy
My name is wind .Maybe you have already forgotten me but I remember you.
Today we went to Taiyang island to planting trees . You and Nancy were talking all the time.
When you look me I said : Excuse me may I know your E-mail adress ?
haha do you remember me ?
I want to make friends with you Because you are from America . Haha,my English is very poor so I
think you may help me and have a friend from another country is my dream
Let's make a friend with each other .
OK?

Best Wishes
Your Wind


Andy,
How are you doing? How about your visit? Where have you been? I think the photo i sent to you runs into some problems. This time, I think you can open it.
I really want to make friends with you. what's your Chinese name? Wei * rong. I forget the middle, so sorry. My Chinese is very stardard! I think we can study together and make progress.
My English name is Barry, and Chinese name is ZhangChao. My cellphone number is [5555555], call me or massage me when you are free. Wish your reply.
Take care and have a nice week!
Barry.

Here's the picture Barry sent along.

They're so danged sincere, it really breaks my heart that I can't fulfill their 'dream' of having a foreign friend, but 1) I don't have time and 2) I'm not supposed to be speaking English which is a big part of what they want. Usually I'll send back something like:

I had a great time talking with you, Wind. It was fun planting trees together. I wish you well in school!

Hopefully they won't be too heartbroken.

Actually, I'm complaining here but I don't want to give everyone the wrong idea. Having millions of people dying to meet you is very beneficial and gratifying. If I find someone interesting, I can approach them to talk, confident that they will be happy to do so. It also makes for some interesting conversations with cab drivers and such. I'm always up for a chat, it's just that prolonged friendship with the entire city's population is not sustainable. Allow me the pleasure of a little grumbling here, so I don't have to tell it to Wind or Barry.